mom – Page 3 – Greek Mom Moments

May 12, 2014

Emotional Roller Coaster

I was one of those women who didn’t want to read about everything that was going to happen to me but rather I wanted to experience it. So no I didn’t read Dr. Spock or What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I didn’t Google birth stories or ‘how much does labour really hurt?’ Everyone had said how amazing being a mother was gong to be and how special of a bond you have with your child, something that is unexplainable but you will know it once you live it.

In all of my conversations with other mamas the one thing that no one mentioned was the emotions you have. I get it hormones are out of whack. My body is still trying to recover from what it went through or as I joke from what happened to it. But really how can you be fine one minute and not fine the next? Yes I am sleep deprived and I know that is playing a role but really you have so much love for this tiny creature that at times you feel helpless. They can’t communicate with you other than to cry and sometimes when the ‘witching hours’ are upon us that crying can be a lot.

I read an article today about babies with colic and it read that, “some doctors define it by the rule of threes: three hours of crying at a time, at least three times a week, for at least three weeks in a row — usually starting between the third and sixth week of life.” I can’t imagine listening to three hours of crying. My baby cries for 30-40 minutes and I feel helpless…I admit it. As someone who loves to be in control it isn’t easy to admit that. I worked with a coach whose motto was, “get comfortable being uncomfortable” who knew that would be so fitting when it came to parenting.

I’d like to thank my hubby for making my first Mother’s Day a great one! Spending the day with him and our baby was perfect 🙂

Roula

A little ditty about Jack and Diane...no really in all seriousness I'm a daughter, sister, wife and mother. I'm a Greek-American, who has transplanted in Canada. As a first time mom I'm sharing some things as I go along.

March 11, 2014March 11, 2014

Blessed are the children…

Hello everyone,

It is so hard to believe that in a bit over a month our bundle of joy will be here. That is if they aren’t stubborn and follow the “timeline”. I’m packed and ready as they tell me you never know when the time will come. Saying all that I wanted to take some time to discuss something that is very important in the Greek Orthodox faith and that is the 40-day blessing. Similar to Jesus’ presentation to the temple, the thought is that you bring your child to church at the 40 day mark to be blessed by the priest. Forty days after birth and in accordance with the Old Testament tradition observed by the Virgin Mary (Luke 2:22-24), the mother brings her child for its first visit to the Church. If they are a boy they are entered into the altar as well. The Greek Orthodox Church still has a closed altar and females are not allowed to enter. Certainly I have thought about having my child receive this blessing but as the time gets closer for our little one to arrive I wonder what does this really mean? Will I be stuck in the house for 40 days without being able to leave ever? I asked this question and some others to some of my girlfriends who have agreed to serve as ‘blog collaborators’ on certain subjects. Certainly they have MUCH more experience in mommyhood than I do and I am so excited to be able to share all of this with them.

Question 1: Did you bring your child to church to be blessed on or around the 40^th day and your thoughts on the overall blessing?
One friend says, “I did bring both my children to be blessed around the 40^th day and I really enjoyed the experience. It was a chance for the baby to have an official outing, go to church and be introduced to the community. It was an important milestone for me!”
Another friend says, “I have had all three of my children brought to church for a blessing. It was more towards to the 30 days, our priest does allow you to bring them a bit sooner. I wanted to get them blessed because I have a strong faith and always seek God’s help in my daily life.”
Yet another friend stated that before her second child received their 40 day blessing she went to church for a Μνημόσυνο (memorial service) for her Godfather’s passing. When she was spotted by the church secretary, she was shocked to see my friend and asked why she was there. She explained and later found out that the blessing is as much about the mother as it is the baby. She apparently wasn’t supposed to step inside of the church prior to the 40 day blessing. She didn’t know this and felt anxious the entire time leading up to the blessing thinking something “bad” was going to happen to the baby or me. Nothing did of course!

Question 2: Who went with you for the blessing?
One friend said, “…whomever was available: husband, yiayiathes, and other children.” Another states, “The godfather and yiayia came for my first child and the grandparents and godparents came for the second child. ” Yet another states, “…my husband for my first and my husband and older child for my second…I learned that our priest does not like it at all for other family members to attend.”

Question 3: Did you stay at home the entire 39 days leading up to your child’s blessing? Or did you go out but baby didn’t?
One friend says, “At first I scoffed at the idea not understanding the reasoning behind it, I chalked it up to superstition. However after two pregnancies I realizes that a woman does need time to recover after her pregnancies. I did find myself staying in most of the time when it was possible.”
A few friends stated that they went out but baby did not unless it was for an appointment with the doctor. And yet another did venture out of the house before the baby was blessed but only during the day.

In reading all of this I found it interesting the differences between churches, priests and countries. One friend stated that her aunt in Athens said something about the 40 day blessing now being 20 days staying at home but she didn’t doubt for a second that her deeply religious cousin stayed in the entire period. Some priests do the blessing as part of the ceremony after the Sunday services and others have the family come in on a Saturday so the blessing is more private.

I always wonder if sometimes we Greeks of the diaspora have held on to these traditions more closely than our Greek counterparts. Simply because we were brought up with the traditions of Greece circa 1950/60/70/80 or whatever year our parents immigrated to their new country. They held on to this Greekness so tight in order to not lose their Greek identity and instilled in us these values and traditions. I know that it is important for my husband and me to have our child blessed and start his/her life in the Greek Orthodox Church. Whether or not I stay in the house for the 39 days prior or even if baby does, I’ll fill you in once that is happening. Did you have your child receive the 40 day blessing? Did you stay in or go out during this time? I’d love it if you shared with me!

I did find a great section of Myth busters on a church site in Australia. If you want to check them out, click here and go to the Myths ‘busted’ about Birth and Baptism section,

Roula

March 4, 2014March 4, 2014

Do you talk and drive?

So today’s blog is a cross between a public service announcement and my personal rant. I guess that is the good thing about having your own blog…you can do that!

I was driving to OB appointment last week on a not so busy road. I had about 20 cars pass me during my time on this road. This is either driving in the opposite direction or to pass me (I do follow the speed limit, more so now that I’m pregnant). Saying that 12 of these people were talking on their cellphones. Full on holding a phone up to their ear and holding a conversation. Now I should let you know that I live in the province of Ontario in Canada and this is illegal. There is a law on the books that bans this. The summary is below and the more information can be found here.

Ontario’s ban on hand-held devices while driving took effect on October 26, 2009.

The law makes it illegal for drivers to talk, text, type, dial or email using hand-held cell phones and other hand-held communications and entertainment devices. The law also prohibits drivers from viewing display screens unrelated to the driving task, such as laptops or DVD players, while driving. The use of hands-free devices is still permitted, and drivers may use hand-held devices to call 9-1-1.

‘Hands-free’ use means that apart from activating or deactivating the device, it is not held during use and the driver is not physically interacting with or manipulating it. Actions such as dialing or scrolling through contacts, or manually programming a GPS device, for example, are not allowed.

Now many people are offenders of this law every day. I guess you can say it just REALLY bothered me on this particular day. Was I more sensitive because I’m with child? Would it have bothered me just as much on any other Wednesday? Probably, I just don’t know how vocal I would have been about it.

I talked about this with some friends and asked what they do when they get in the car? Most friends put their phone in their cup holders or their stands and go about their ride. One friend actually had a phone that once the Bluetooth was enabled it shut off all notifications until they were out of the car. I thought this was brilliant! My problem is once that ding, ring, ping, whatever the sound may be goes off, my brain is distracted and I’m wondering who called, emailed, texted.

Do we really need to be connected 24/7? A few years I would have said absolutely. Today I’m not so sure. I think we all need to be good stewards of the heavy machinery that we are operating and of our fellow citizens around us.

Being form the United States originally I know that each state has its own laws on cellphones. Did you know that only 15 states have a total handheld device ban? I was shocked that it was so low. I am also aware that are a few organizations in the United States where you can pledge to not text and drive but what about talk and drive? Oprah has a “no phone zone” but only 423,000 have taken the pledge. Seriously when Ellen can get millions of retweets on a picture from the Oscars, Oprah can’t get more than 500,000 people to pledge? What is the issue? Why have we become such a connected society? I certainly don’t have the answers but I’m ready to start the conversation. Did your cell phone habits change once you became pregnant or had kids? Are you a believer that we shouldn’t have any laws against this? Some laws? Let the conversation begin!

Roula

February 7, 2014

Here goes nothing!

Well its official, I’m back to my blogging ways. Different site, different focus but the same little ole me. A lot has changed since the last time I was writing. I celebrated another birthday, I’m now closer to 40 than I am to 35. I left my senior level management job in downtown Toronto to start working on my own. Primarily I work on social media marketing, along with some website work. It has been completely great to be my own boss and to make my own hours. The biggest change in all of this is that I’m a soon to be Greek μαμά (aka mom).

To say that the last few months have been a whirlwind would be an understatement. I haven’t been crazy hormonal, although my hubby is probably a better person to ask about that, but to have this little being growing inside you is surreal. You worry about things that you normally wouldn’t, or at least I do. You have to make sure you’re always taking your vitamins, of which I wasn’t the best at remembering before. You have to prepare, as best you can for the little bundle of joy that will soon be joining your family, and of course you’re doing all this while being the best Greek wife, daughter, friend, co-worker, and soon to be μαμά that you can be. No pressure right?!??

To give you some perspective, I guess I should start with the Greekness. I am 100% Greek-American that has been transplanted to Canada. I also am married to a 100% Canadian-Greek. Yes you read that correctly, I put the Greekness first and hubby puts it second. More on that another time. My parents immigrated to the United States in the 70s in search of a better life for themselves and their future family. I was raised in an all Greek household. This means we spoke Greek, we ate Greek, we did everything but watch Greek TV as this was the age before satellites. Everyday I’d go to school like every other child but three days a week I’d go to Greek School. This was in the afternoons after regular school. I remember my mom picking me up from school, taking me home to change clothes (I went to a private school so I wore a uniform), giving me something to eat, and then driving me to Greek School. Here I had the opportunity to interact with other Greek children from my church and make bonds that are still in place until this day. I’d then go home to do my homework from regular school, which in the early days was a struggle. I was the first grader who needed to go visit my 80 year old tenant for help with my spelling list on Thursdays as she was the only other person in the house who could help me. My father always says, “I didn’t learn English so my children will learn Greek.” It wasn’t until I was much older that I finally understood what that meant. Look out for this story in a future blog. J I was a member of GOYA, the Greek Orthodox Youth of America and went to their dances and basketball games. I event was vice-president of the Hellenic Society at my college and lead the charge in the March 25^th parade.

All of this would lead me to deciding I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a fellow Greek. This was very important to me. Not that I didn’t date non-Greeks but I knew that when push came to shove the values, traditions and things that were important to me, needed to be important to him as well. I didn’t want to fight about sending the kid to Greek school, or what religion they would be raised in or even what languages they would study. For me all of this was important and non-negotiable. Now before the bashers come in and hate, I must say here that I have many friends who have married non-Greeks and are leading very happy lives. I am just sharing with you what I was looking for.

All of this comes with some pressures—or at least perhaps a pressure that many Greek women I know manifest on themselves. The pressures to be the best at whatever it is we’re doing. The best wife, daughter, mother, employee, boss, friend, etc. Through this blog I hope to share with you my journey through life and the challenges that this soon to be Greek μαμά faces.