So it isn’t a secret that 99% of us are on social media. We’re connected today in a way that our parents never could be. We literally can FaceTime or Skype everyday with people thousands of miles away and feel more connected than the people who live down the street from us. You can join me as I go “live” on Facebook or via my InstaStory and be right there with me at my dentist appointment, favourite concert or heck even wedding. It is crazy if you begin to think that 20 years ago this was not the norm and now this generation knows no different.
So how many friends are too many? One day I was having a heated discussion with a friend about Facebook and really did they need to have 800 friends? How many of these people truly had an impact on their life? How many of these people did they really care about and furthermore how many of these did they actually know? It is crazy to think that so much of what we do is out there for the public to see. That absolutely is not a criticism on anyone, it is just an observation. Did we give up our privacy when cell phones became cheap enough that even most 8 year olds have them? And if so, what are we teaching our kids? Do our friendships need to be validated by the person on the other side of the screen? Are we giving up our human interaction for a number of likes?
I have had a couple of former friends now who have blocked me on social media. The first time it happened it bothered me, the second time not so much. As I was decorating for the holidays I found Christmas cards from past years from these people telling me how wonderful of a friend I was and how lucky they were to have me in their lives. I’m not writing this to toot my own horn, these were their words. My question is how can someone so important in your life be shut out without a conversation and by the click of a block button? Trust me, my life moved on and I didn’t lose any sleep over it but if you’re creeping my blog, as I think you may be, I ask you to look inside of yourself and answer that question. Has social media devaluized friendship? I truly believe that there are very few people who are meant to be in your life for the long haul. I’m so fortunate to have a few of those in my inner tribe. I can count on more than one hand people that I have had in my life over 20 years, how blessed am I to say that. Friendship, like marriage is work. Not necessarily hard work but you need to put time and effort in to make it viable. You need to care enough about the other person to make a sacrifice to see them over coffee, wine, or even a quick FaceTime. You need to invest in your friends because after yourself and your family, they’re all you’ve got!
There I said it. I need a vacation from my kid’s vacation. We had the opportunity to give notice to our pre-school in the Spring if we wanted any time off in the Summer. Hubby and I thought it would be great to keep the kid home on two separate weeks. Of course life happened and the first week didn’t turn out as expected. First off it rained every single day the kid was home. That’s right 10 days of rain in a row. We were able to sneak in some outdoor time here and there but it was limited. Secondly it was humid as all you know what. The kid is a hotbody, not like the hashtag with the half naked woman on social media, she gets overheated easily and hates to be hot. Needless to say this mama had to punt and make the best of the cards that were dealt to her. All in all the kid didn’t complain, obviously, but here’s to hoping that the rain stays away later in the summer when she has her second week of vacation.
We were able to do some fun day trips including on to the Oshawa Zoo and Fun Farm, the local carnival, Whittamore’s Farm, our favourite Danforth Pizza House and of course the Big Apple. No my American friends I didn’t make it to Times Square but rather literally a big apple (see photos at end of post).
Bottom line the important thing for her was to be able to get out and explore. Whether that was at a new park we hadn’t visited ye, going to a carnival for the first, second and third time, feeding the animals at the zoo with her friends or building houses for the Paw Patrol pups while it poured outside. Thanks for a great week Miss K. Looking forward to many more adventures with you!
The sheep lining up to be fed at the Oshawas Zoo and Fun Farm. Waiting in line with her friend A to board the strawberry ride at the carnival.Making pizza at our favourite spot, Danforth Pizza House. First time in the corn jumpy castle at Whittamore’s Farm.Swinging for days, she literally could sit there for hours. The Big Apple, this is as close as I’ll get for a while.
Three years ago today I sat down for the first time in front of my computer to write. I had no idea what I would really write about or honestly if anyone would read my blog. All I knew is that I was pregnant, in my third trimester and had this crazy idea. My husband who is my biggest supporter purchased the domain name, my good friend who is my go to techie helped me set it all up and there was no turning back.
It is hard to believe that today is my three year anniversary of blogging because so much has changed. I went from a scared pregnant woman to a mom of a toddler. I went from questioning could I do this to being confident in my parenting choices and decisions. I went from doing what I wanted when I wanted, to being mindful of this little person that was now my responsibility and changing my life in ways I had no idea she would. I went from searching for a group of mommies who were in the same situation as I, to creating a group of mommy friends that I wouldn’t change for the world!
Life, regardless of the stage has ups and downs. I’m grateful to be in a place where I can sit behind a screen and write about mine. I’m grateful for my upbringing so that I can share those ideals with my little one. I’m grateful for you, each one of you taking the time to read, comment, send me a text or email letting me know that you got something out of my blog. And of course I’m grateful to my hubby and the kid. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have the content to keep doing what I’m doing.
Motherhood isn’t easy. If anyone told you it was they were lying to you. It truly takes a village. I’m not just talking about a village to help mold your little one’s life but a village to help you, the mom, during this ride. You need to be sure that you keep your friends close to you during this time. Whether those are the friends that you’ve had since you were in the first grade, met when you were four at Sunday School or more recently in a mommy group where you commiserated about your kids not sleeping through the night. These women will be your tribe. They will help you in ways that you don’t even realize. They’ll be the shoulders that you’ll cry on when you’re at your wits end and they’ll sit with you over a cup of coffee or glass of wine when you need to just have someone present with you.
I’m not taking anything away for your spouse, partner or family. If you are fortunate to have these people present in your life, they are important in a different way. Girlfriends are different. There is an unspoken bond of understanding. They will answer that text at 11pm or 4:30am when you can’t sleep because they’re up too. They will drop by with a Starbucks when you can’t leave because your child has been hit with the latest virus and you’re stuck close to a bathroom.
To all of you in my tribe, thank you. It has been a heck of a ride for me so far but I’m just grateful to have you all in my life. Thank you for being a friend.
Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends. Wishing each and every one of you an amazing day filled with food, laughter and the love of your family and friends.
It is amazing the things that can be discussed over coffee. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting up with a friend that I had not seen since I was pregnant. Considering the little one is almost nine months old, it has been a while. We met at our favourite Starbucks and after catching up on work and the family our conversation included life, death, and the pressures of motherhood. One thing that she said that stood with me was how hard the first couple of years of being a mother truly are. Here you are, responsible for this life that really can not communicate to you. You are still expected to be a stellar employee, the sexy wife and a super mom. Even A type personality women can be sent over the edge by this pressure. I am sure at one time or another all women have felt this pressure subconsciously but until I had someone actually admit it to me of course I thought I was the only one.
Now I know women talk about everything and anything and usually so much more than men but I think when it comes to being honest about their situations, many don’t admit this or if they do it is to their closest confidantes. I don’t know why, perhaps it is because they think they’ll be judged by others or that they’ll look weaker in front of their counterparts. I say the only way we can be better mothers and role models for our daughters and sons is by having these conversations. Admitting that we don’t need to be superwomen in the office, the bedroom and the kitchen. We sometimes need 15 minutes to ourselves to just think and gain our composure so that we can take on the world the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day! And for this we should not feel guilty. The underlying guilt that comes with motherhood was one that no one prepared me for. You feel guilty for decisions you make, you feel guilty for situations you can’t control, you feel guilty for going back to work, you feel guilty for not going back to work and having your other half be the breadwinner. Whatever the issue we need to learn to let go of the guilt as it will eat us alive. Be comfortable with the decisions you make. Apologize if they don’t have the outcome that you hope for and move on. Be stronger for both yourself and your family. And if all else fails, go in the bathroom, unbutton your shirt and look at that ‘supermom’ tee that you’re wearing. Everyone else thinks you are so you better start believing it yourself mama!!