Helicopter Mom

How many of us see it, you’re at the park and there is that one mom (or dad) who is standing there, playing with their child.  Going down the slide with them, watching over their every move.  Typically these parents are called helicopter moms or helicopter parents.  Well I’ll raise my hand that this has been me.  My child is at the age where she is exerting her independence.  Everything is “I do” or “I don’t want your help.”   She wants to select her own clothes, put on her own socks and shoes (even if they’re on the wrong feet), she wants to walk down the stairs alone, with hands on hips to prove she can do it.  She wants to walk without her hand being held, even if we’re crossing the street.  Obviously it is a totally normal stage of growth but as a parent it is a hard balance to find.  How much independence is enough?  How far do you let them push?

Last week we took Miss K to a park near the lake.  With all of the rain we had this summer, the water is much closer to the shoreline and the park than normal.  So obviously with a toddler in tow, I was super cautious of her every move.  I did notice some parents sitting on benches, in full fledged conversations while their children played.  Were they better parents for letting their children explore on their own?  Was I a better parent for staying close?  I don’t think there is a correct answer.  It totally depends on the child and their stage in life.  Maybe their kids looked like my kid but were actually 5 years old (which sometimes people think my kids looks like).  Maybe they are the type that won’t run off or they’ve passed the exert the independence phase.  Bottom line is that I was not there to judge them and I would hope that they weren’t there judging me.

I’ll never forget the first time someone commented that I was a helicopter mom.  I stood there stunned.  Huh, me, what? did he say that right? It was actually a street performer of all people, a guy dressed up like a clown making balloon animals.  Seriously buddy do you have any idea who I am?  Do you have any idea what I have accomplished in my life?  Do you have any idea what I have survived through the years?  Of course this is what I wanted to yell at him but didn’t.  Rather I stood there stunned.  This comment happened a few months ago and it really has stuck with me.  I have no idea if anyone else in my group caught it, if they did, they played dumb.  All I know is it has changed the way I handle some things when it comes to my child.  If you know Miss K, you know she has a voice and has no problem expressing her opinions.  There were times where I’d stifle this as it wasn’t the right place or time for it.  But to hell with it.  If she doesn’t like something, why shouldn’t she have the right to express it?  Even at the age of three.  Why do we try so hard to raise our daughters to always be ‘appropriate’?  Is it because when she grows up if she acts like that she’ll be called a bitch?  Is it if she asks for what she wants in the workforce she’ll be labeled as being too pushy?  Well you know what, I’m totally okay with that.  I’m helping to mold a future leader not a follower.  I’m helping my daughter understand that it is okay to go for what you want, even when people tell you that you can’t do it, don’t deserve it or will never get it. I’m helping my daughter understand that once you sent your mind to something with hard work you can make it happen.  I’m helping my daughter understand that she can conquer the world!

Roula

Roula

A little ditty about Jack and Diane...no really in all seriousness I'm a daughter, sister, wife and mother. I'm a Greek-American, who has transplanted in Canada. As a first time mom I'm sharing some things as I go along.

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I need a vacation…

There I said it.  I need a vacation from my kid’s vacation.  We had the opportunity to give notice to our pre-school in the Spring if we wanted any time off in the Summer.  Hubby and I thought it would be great to keep the kid home on two separate weeks.  Of course life happened and the first week didn’t turn out as expected.  First off it rained every single day the kid was home.  That’s right 10 days of rain in a row.  We were able to sneak in some outdoor time here and there but it was limited.  Secondly it was humid as all you know what.  The kid is a hotbody, not like the hashtag with the half naked woman on social media, she gets overheated easily and hates to be hot.  Needless to say this mama had to punt and make the best of the cards that were dealt to her.  All in all the kid didn’t complain, obviously, but here’s to hoping that the rain stays away later in the summer when she has her second week of vacation.

We were able to do some fun day trips including on to the Oshawa Zoo and Fun Farm, the local carnival, Whittamore’s Farm, our favourite Danforth Pizza House and of course the Big Apple.  No my American friends I didn’t make it to Times Square but rather literally a big apple (see photos at end of post).

Bottom line the important thing for her was to be able to get out and explore.  Whether that was at a new park we hadn’t visited ye, going to a carnival for the first, second and third time, feeding the animals at the zoo with her friends or building houses for the Paw Patrol pups while it poured outside.  Thanks for a great week Miss K.  Looking forward to many more adventures with you!

The sheep lining up to be fed at the Oshawas Zoo and Fun Farm. Waiting in line with her friend A to board the strawberry ride at the carnival.Making pizza at our favourite spot, Danforth Pizza House. First time in the corn jumpy castle at Whittamore’s Farm.Swinging for days, she literally could sit there for hours. The Big Apple, this is as close as I’ll get for a while.

Roula

Roula

A little ditty about Jack and Diane...no really in all seriousness I'm a daughter, sister, wife and mother. I'm a Greek-American, who has transplanted in Canada. As a first time mom I'm sharing some things as I go along.

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Happy 4th of July

Wishing all of my friends and family in the States, a very Happy 4th of July.  Please take a moment out of your cook-outs, barbecues, beach days, pool parties, and fun to remember the reason for today.  In this time of division in the country remember that America is strong because if its unity.  Each individual must find it in themselves to make this world a better place.  It isn’t someone else’s job to step up and make it better for you.  Get off your butt and make a difference!

 

Roula

Roula

A little ditty about Jack and Diane...no really in all seriousness I'm a daughter, sister, wife and mother. I'm a Greek-American, who has transplanted in Canada. As a first time mom I'm sharing some things as I go along.

More Posts