It is amazing the things that can be discussed over coffee. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting up with a friend that I had not seen since I was pregnant. Considering the little one is almost nine months old, it has been a while. We met at our favourite Starbucks and after catching up on work and the family our conversation included life, death, and the pressures of motherhood. One thing that she said that stood with me was how hard the first couple of years of being a mother truly are. Here you are, responsible for this life that really can not communicate to you. You are still expected to be a stellar employee, the sexy wife and a super mom. Even A type personality women can be sent over the edge by this pressure. I am sure at one time or another all women have felt this pressure subconsciously but until I had someone actually admit it to me of course I thought I was the only one.
Now I know women talk about everything and anything and usually so much more than men but I think when it comes to being honest about their situations, many don’t admit this or if they do it is to their closest confidantes. I don’t know why, perhaps it is because they think they’ll be judged by others or that they’ll look weaker in front of their counterparts. I say the only way we can be better mothers and role models for our daughters and sons is by having these conversations. Admitting that we don’t need to be superwomen in the office, the bedroom and the kitchen. We sometimes need 15 minutes to ourselves to just think and gain our composure so that we can take on the world the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day! And for this we should not feel guilty. The underlying guilt that comes with motherhood was one that no one prepared me for. You feel guilty for decisions you make, you feel guilty for situations you can’t control, you feel guilty for going back to work, you feel guilty for not going back to work and having your other half be the breadwinner. Whatever the issue we need to learn to let go of the guilt as it will eat us alive. Be comfortable with the decisions you make. Apologize if they don’t have the outcome that you hope for and move on. Be stronger for both yourself and your family. And if all else fails, go in the bathroom, unbutton your shirt and look at that ‘supermom’ tee that you’re wearing. Everyone else thinks you are so you better start believing it yourself mama!!